Friday, September 01, 2006

360 vs. PS3 vs. Wii

All due credit for this post goes to Mike Lawler. He sent me this video this morning, which lampoons the latest Apple vs. PC commercials with a PS3 vs. Wii spin that definitely says the Wii is the better product. Basically it casts the PS3 as a large, homely woman and the Wii as a skinny blond tart. The message is yeah, the Wii may be cheaper and less powerful than the PS3, but hey, when you just want to have a good time, go get a Wii. I thought the casting of the PS3 wasn't quite fair, and initially thought a curvaceous, sassy black woman would have been more appropriate. We went back and forth on different casting scenarious, but Mike's last spin, which includes the Xbox 360, totally nailed it:
I'd make the 360 a spoiled sorority girl. Readily available, a bit upscale, fun, but needs YOU to buy her stuff. One commercial would feature the core "model", and she'd be hot enough, but constantly trying to convince you to "upgrade" her with a chrome finish or 20GB hard drive. Her Xbox Live subscription would be her allowance.

The Wii should certainly be a bouncy little Japanese tart who speaks limited English (non-traditional joystick). Plenty friendly, accomodating, really nice to look at, fun as hell, but not really useful. Certainly doesn't cook, clean, or do laundry. Strictly for ornamentation and entertainment purposes.

Then, I'd have the PS3 as the super-hot, unattainable, controlling to borderline dominatrix, ultra-high-end Mercedes driving bitch that wants to come to your house to throw your DVD player and PC off your roof. She speaks Sanskrit (Blueray), is in Mensa (Cell processor), and craps little rectangular blocks (HDMI output). She'd go absolute ape shit if she knew you had another gaming console around, so forget about that. She wants to monopolize your entertainment time, which, because she's so hot, is cool, but only for so long. Dates (games) with her cost a fortune ($60-$100).

My commercial would have the 360 standing there because she's already been realeased. Then, the PS3 and Wii would show up in a skimpy Misses Claus outfits (just in time for Christmas). Then the 360 and PS3 would start arguing over who was better (more features) and what they could each do for you. The Wii would just stand there looking hot, oblivious to any conversation. The PS3 would end up winning the argument, but you'd end up thinking that she was a total bitch and wondering if you want her in your house.


Anonymous bob said...

Then there would be yellow and black stripe-ed Kill Bill Uma as a modded old XBOX loaded with Xbox Media Center. I'll let you figure out the metaphors..just make sure that Bill is Gates, there's a room full of bleeding and dismembered DRM techniques and throw in a Pussy Wagon in there somewhere. OOh ooh...the Wii Japanese girl has gotta cry blood too.

Sun Oct 15, 05:09:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous bob said...

OMFG I didn't realize how old the original post was....

Well, I guess I should take this opportunity to apologize for not visiting your blog more often...

Sun Oct 15, 05:12:00 PM PDT  

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