Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Secret Love

As some of you may know, I'm not a big fan of The Lord Of The Rings. After watching the first movie, I was convinced that J.R. Tolkien was a closet homosexual. Can you blame me? I had just spent 3 hours watching hairy footed midgets hug and cry and talk about their feelings for each other. Would it have killed him to put one freakin' female in a major role?

Well, I am not alone. TBS is running some parody promos to hype upcoming showings of LOTR on their network. Witness a love that dare not speak its name, a secret love...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

FYI: they do NOT hug and stuff, they are NOT midgets. They care for eachother- probably more than YOU could understand, having not even seen all the movies. Tolkien DID put female actors in, close to the main rolls too, like Arwen and Ayowen and Galadriel, etc. I think its very rude for you to go saying terrible things about these marvelus movies, just because you cant understand a great friendship when you see one. Same with TBS.

Wed Apr 19, 05:58:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Chico said...

LOL! Oh, this is too precious to delete. Make one offhanded post criticizing LOTR and the fanboys come out in droves to defend her honor. For the record, I have seen all the movies, btw, and all CG effects aside, these movies aren't very good, imho.

Yes, they do "hug and stuff", and look into each others eyes, and talk about how much they care for each other. That's not friendship, that's one wet kiss away from something most definitely not friendship. The TBS bit only shows I'm not alone in thinking this.

And as for including women in the first movie at least, the only two serious female characters are Arwen, who gets all of 5 minutes screen time and maybe 2 lines, and Galadriel, who is on screen long enough to turn into an emasculating, power hungry mother figure when she gets close to the ring.

Nope, certainly, no homosexual overtones here.

I think it's very rude for you to say terrible things about me, when you really should just mind your own damn business. I mean, you took time out of your day to reply to some random idiot's post that he didn't like your precious film. Get a life. And a Netflix subscription and try watching something worthwhile for a change. You'll be glad you did. Thanks for reading!

Thu Apr 20, 07:57:00 AM PDT  

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